Snow Day 2

So here we are again. I was up, dressed, ready to go...with dinner in the crock pot, no less...when I found out we had no school again today. S’OK with me, but I’m ready to go back and dreading the catch-up that’s waiting for me there...

Anyway. In an effort to kill time this afternoon, I took the kids to Burger King. I hate the food there, but they have the only indoor play-place in this town and they were both desperate to burn off some energy. So we went. After they ate, they took off from the table to go run and climb, and I was left sitting there listening to a couple of moms at the next table. They were having the typical mom-to-mom chat...one of those things that really kind of makes my skin crawl. I guess I feel as though I’m sort of beyond the new parent thing. I feel pretty comfortable in my role as mom, and while I by no means think I’m the perfect mother, I don’t really think I’m screwing things up all that much. But these two were discussing the ins and outs of the current stages their kids are in, and they were just regurgitating all these facts and hints from parenting books...enough to drive me crazy. Sometimes I even had the feeling that even they didn’t quite believe the things they were saying, but it was what they’ve read good parents do and say, so on they went.

There was a distinct feeling of “I’m superior” in their conversation. Their clothes were perfect, their kids were dressed perfectly, they were (I’m so not kidding) calling their kids over about every 5 minutes to anti-bac their hands. And the kids that were too small for the play area had an entire set of ocean creature toys that they were playing with.

I suddenly felt really self-conscious and small and so much like a bad mom. I only brought my kids to the play area so they could run around and wear themselves down before naptime. I didn’t even bring the diaper bag, so no anti-bac. I didn’t spend the time looking around at the other kids and comparing mine to them, and I venture to say that I wouldn’t have done that even if I had a friend there to talk with.

I do feel comfortable with the mom thing on about 5 days out of 7. I provide for my kids, teach them, keep them safe, and plan for their future. I think I’m doing a halfway decent job...they’re happy and bright and busy little kids who are respectful to others (ummmm...others outside the house...). I don’t know why it is that I let an overheard conversation like this invade my thoughts and become my obsession. I’ve said many times before that I don’t cater to my kids’ every whim...I’m firm when I need to be and there’s not a lot of cajoling and molly-coddling that goes on in our house. I want my kids to like me, but it’s OK if they don’t all the time. It’s just that whenever I find myself in a situation like the one today at BK’s play area, I’m suddenly thrust into a very insecure place. Am I doing a good job? Will they turn out OK by the time they’re old enough to fly this coop? Furthermore, will I be OK? Hm. I wonder.