A Weighty Subject

This week I became increasingly aware (and annoyed, I might add) by parents. No, not my own. And no, not being a parent myself.

But I witnessed two incidents this week that showed me exactly why teachers and school administrators get so burned out so quickly. For a brief moment, I really felt helpless and as though I can’t do anything to help my kids (my school kids) when they’re surrounded by the negativity of their parents.

The first little episode occurred outside the elementary building where I work 3 or 4 days each week. A mother had shown up to pick up her son from school early enough that she was able to hear the principal’s afternoon announcements. During those announcements, the principal reminded students of the school rule and policy regarding shorts - that none are to be worn before April 1st. She warned the students that she would be issuing demerits for anyone who chose to break the rule. To myself, I thought, “Good for her!” Then I went outside to get in my car, where I heard this mother yelling into her cell phone (to whom, I don’t know) that her son would wear shorts whenever he felt like it and whenever she put shorts on him in the morning. Her child, along with several others, was sitting in the car next to his mom the whole time, hearing her completely inane rant. Never mind that there were 2 days left until April 1. Never mind that this was a school rule, not something dreamed up to single out her child. Never mind that in the grand scheme, shorts are hardly something to, well, get your shorts in a bunch about.

The second episode occurred when our neighbor girl brought over her homework from kindergarten, complaining that she hates school and can’t do the assignment. Her mother was close behind, going on about how she just can’t believe that in kindergarten they get homework and how ridiculous that is. That no kindergartener should have to take a proficiency test. And on she went. Right in front of her child. And mine, for that matter.

My whole opinion of education has changed significantly since I began working in the schools. I see how absolutely different districts can be (the two for which I work are polar opposites) and what a huge difference the school environment alone makes. I’m not sure where I come down on the issues of No Child Left Behind, proficiency testing, and graduation testing. I’m pretty sure that some such system needs to be in place...I’m just not sure we’ve gotten it right yet. But what could be wrong with holding students and teachers accountable and responsible for what goes on in the classroom (in ways other than telling them that they have to pass a test because the school’s funding rests on their scores...as happened to our babysitter)? I’m not saying that teachers need to teach for a test, but I am saying that they need to be held to a higher standard...to be creative and thoughtful about their work, and that presumably the test issues would fall in line.

Obviously this system doesn’t work for every child. Most of the kids I work with will probably never take a proficiency test or worry about getting into college. But these students represent a minority of the school population and I think that their needs could be met in better ways as well. Can’t we come up with a better way to include different learners? And back to my original issue...shouldn’t parents be involved and supportive rather than negative and adversarial? Isn’t there some way to impart the importance of education? Living in Appalachia, we see how graduation from high school is sometimes seen as “wow you got through it” rather than as a stepping stone on to something different. It’s part of the culture here, and while it may not be a good thing, it is what it is. I really feel like we ought to be expecting more, demanding more, and doing more. Of teachers, of schools, of students, and of parents.

It's Good to be a Buckeye Tonight!!

One more down, one more to go. It has to be Florida. It just has to.

Any Plans for Dinner?

Our conversation on the ride home today:

A: Mommy, can I go outside and play when we get home?
me: Sure.
A: Will you come with me?
me: I’ll be outside as soon as I put together the casserole for dinner.
A: What are we having for dinner?
me:...um...casserole.
A: Oh great. At lunch I didn’t even eat the casserole.
me: You had casserole for lunch? What kind?
A: Well...it was red and kind of cheesy on the inside. So I didn’t eat it.
--lull in conversation--
A: So. Are we having that kind of casserole for dinner?

Normal, I guess

I heard this on the way to work this morning. In short, it was a piece about how working moms of today spend as much time with their children in “direct child-care activities” as stay-at-home moms did in the 1970’s. It turns out not to be as simple as that statement; indeed we’re talking two different eras. But it was interesting nonetheless.

I’m someone who feels incredibly strongly about choice for women who have children. I’m extremely fortunate to be married to someone who feels the same way. It doesn’t matter to me whether a mom works at home, works outside the home, or makes the home her work. It matters to me that she is able to do what she wants to do and what is the best thing for her and her family. I realize that not all women are fortunate enough to be able to make the choice to stay home if they want to, but I’m glad we live in a society where a woman is able to choose to go to work...and where women are able to earn a living for their families.

I’ve never felt particularly guilty about working. I’ve worked ever since A was 9 months old, and I’m confident that if I didn’t go to work, I’d be unhappy, grumpy, and a pretty unfit mom. I find satisfaction in my job. I worked hard for my degrees and I like the challenge of using my education daily. I like that people outside my house depend on me and my expertise in some other area besides diapers, recipes, and laundry.

The work I do here at home is incredibly important. Along with D, I’m responsible for the health, well-being, scheduling, and running of my family. And when it comes down to it, I never question which is more important - my family or my job. When my kids are sick, I don’t think twice about staying home with them. As A progresses into school (and J too, for that matter), I will make it a priority to be a part of that process. But when things are running well here at home (and perhaps even more when they’re not!), I need something else. Another facet, another responsibility, another depth. And I find that through my work.

I have many friends who have made different choices, and while we all question the choices we have made from time to time, it’s fascinating to me to see how well the choices we have made seem to fit all of us. I have friends who work full time, friends who work part time, friends who work out of their homes, and friends who are home full time with their children. And while none of us claim to be perfect mothers, I think we all would say we’re doing what we truly want to be doing. And I think we’re extremely lucky.

Tag!

This was kind of fun. I “stole” this from here. It looked like too much fun to pass up. It’s a list of random things...the ones in bold are ones I’ve done. Things have been more exciting for me than I realize sometimes!! Of course, without college, most of my bold items wouldn’t have happened...

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children/currently raising child
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet.
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Catching Up

It’s been an interesting day.

I purchased a bridesmaids dress for what I assume will be the last wedding I am ever a part of. I’m thrilled and honored to be part of this wedding, but I’m stressing out about my flabby arms and post-pregnancy (2.5 years, but who’s counting?!) hips. I was pleasantly surprised when I tried on my usual size in the chosen dress and nearly fell out of it. Down a size was much better (and good for my ego too!). So that was that.

On the way to the bridal store, D and I got into another in a series of ongoing discussions about the education of our children. It’s been a constant source of stress and headache. A has been at the Catholic preschool here in town for 2 years. We love the school and he has had a fantastic experience there. It would seem natural for him to continue on there for kindergarten, and that’s what the current plan is. However, just because we have a current plan doesn’t mean I’m not constantly questioning the right-ness of said plan. In my mind, I’m weighing the issues of tiny class size, combined grades, the inability to continue Catholic education beyond grade 6 locally, and the question of the unknown against the moral and religious education he would receive, small class size, individual attention, and perhaps slightly more rigorous curriculum followed at the school. Then there’s the whole issue of the public school system here...where D graduated and where we know many teachers and administrators. There’s the issue of old buildings, larger classes, and the lack of the religious component to education. There’s much more choice involved, in terms of teachers. There’s the question of open enrollment possibilities at the elementary level. It seriously gives me a major headache!

The whole question of education frustrates me. D and I have differing views on it. I work in education and am even more confused and frustrated and worried for the future of my own children because of it. Beyond the basics of food, shelter, safety, and love, I think that an education is the most important thing with which we equip our children. So what to do if one is in a place where the educational choices aren’t what one wants...or if there is no choice at all? I talked with my superintendent in very general terms about this not long ago. I’ve come to respect him greatly, and I think he puts forth some valuable ideas. His children are nearly grown now and he said that when my children reach that point, I’ll look back and be amazed at how these things worked themselves out for the betterment of my kids. I took that to mean that things will work themselves out in no small part because of the work that D and I will do along the way. But I also took it to mean that eventually things will be OK for them...and for us.

One of my kids said something very funny during a session today. We work so hard on his expressive skills, and one thing he has particular difficulty with is defining words in a way that makes sense. So I was having him tell me three things he knows about any word I give him. So we did “shoe” and “dog” and other simple ones. Then I said “golf.” His three things? You play with a club, you hit a little ball really far, and you get mad.

I thought that was hilarious.

I AM a genius. I don't care what he says.

Here at chez voiture, we've started using a system for managing the laundry. Not unlike any other family of 4, we go through lots of clothes around here. I hate doing laundry so much that I leave it all for the weekend, which ends up meaning that I leave it all for Sunday, which means it gets done about every two weeks on one awful Sunday when I do approximately 85 loads. Then I take it all up both flights of stairs to the upstairs where the bedrooms are...and there the overflowing baskets of clean clothes sit. We dig through them and remove clothes throughout the week, which leaves the baskets in a mess and the clothes with wrinkles. The whole laundry thing, start to finish, just sucks.

No more!!

I bought all of us a laundry basket. As in, I bought one laundry basket for each member of the family. Now the clothes are magically sorted as soon as they come out of the dryer!! I mean, holy crap!! Now it will take no time at all to put them away in everyone's room, and we'll avoid the whole step of spreading everything out in piles across our bed. I assume that as we grow even more accustomed to this system, we will actually use the same laundry baskets as hampers in the bedrooms. I am so genius!!

D likes the new process, but he's not buying into the idea that I've come up with something new. The other day he mumbled something about "I always hear everyone at work talking about how they do the same thing..." Hrumph. Perhaps if it were something that made us money...

Ugh. I've devolved into blogging about laundry. Hopefully things will get more exciting sometime soon...